We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize