Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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