I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
COCAINE IS GR8
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