Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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