I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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