while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
