I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
