i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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