sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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