Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
