Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Randomize
