so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
