She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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