can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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