I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
