i think my mom watched the whole time
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
