you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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