These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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