are you still at the devil's house?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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