Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
