Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize