I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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