Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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