wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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