He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
