Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
