I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize