That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
