so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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