This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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