strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
