Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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