Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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