i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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