I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
