Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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