You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
