Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
