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So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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