butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
