would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
the liver wants what the liver wants
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
