i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize