how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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