THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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