New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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