Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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