I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
