The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
