I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
