so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
