I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
