I think scott just propositioned me for sex
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
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