love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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