You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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