so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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