you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize