i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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