I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
We're too hungover to prance.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
