found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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