Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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