Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
