Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
