Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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