Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
