My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
