Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize