I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
