I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
