he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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