Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
