hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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