After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
be right there i have to get my cape
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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